Tired

I'm so tired.  Tired of looking in the mirror.  Tired of wearing the same clothes all the time because nothing else fits.  Tired of always looking like a whale in pictures.  Tired of feeling tired. Today marks the beginning of a journey.  A journey to find myself.  A smaller, healthier me.  I will do it MY way, not the way of the fads and the way everyone else around me is doing it.  It may take me a long time.  It may not.  But that only depends on ME.  I have to have the determination to do it.  I have to be the one to want it.  And I want it so bad.  This is me.  All 215 pounds of me.  I have always struggled with my weight, and it has just gone too far.  This is for me.  I am tired of the same excuses.  I've had two kids.  I lost a baby and ate because I am sad.  I'm bored.  I'm lonely.  NO MORE EXCUSES!  I have claimed Philippians 4:13 as my inspiration--I CAN do ALL THINGS through CHRIST!  I will do this.  I have to.  

See, I have a husband.  I have children.  And I don't want them to be ashamed of me, or lose me early.  I want to have fun with them, and play with them without getting tired after 5 minutes.  I love them all so much, it hurts!  I want to watch them grow up, and have healthy habits, because mommy has them too.  I don't have to be a stick, like the world thinks everyone should look.  I just want to be healthy.  For me.  For them.